Greatest Hotel Guest EVER!

As I am sitting here at my second job, working the front desk diligently and making great fake smiles to all who pass, I am approached by the greatest hotel guest of all time!  She is an elderly woman, who screams at me that she is 89.  She isn't angry, she's just VERY hard of hearing, and grumpy.  It turns out that she is the "Soon to be Granny-in-Law"  of our Catering Manager, and she has been waiting on her "Soon to be Granddaughter-in-law" for an hour.  So she gives me a phone number to dial and yells "Tell her that Granny needs a yellow marker".  When the phone rings and nobody answers, she wants me to leave a voicemail with that exact message.  I do so, because the customer is always right.
I think this woman is entertaining, so I continue to go along with it.  She goes and sits down in a chair in the lobby, and with absolutely no exaggeration, she falls asleep within 10 seconds.  How did I know she was already asleep, you ask? Because I have heard lawn mowers make less noise.  The woman snored, and coughed while asleep.  After about 15 minutes of this, I think she was loud enough that she woke her own deaf self up.  She then sees me, makes a grumpy face, and approaches my desk.  She yells again, "Where the hell is Emily? She was supposed to be here an hour ago!".  I calmly told her that I wasn't sure where her Granddaughter was.  She went back and sat down.  About 20 minutes later, her Grandson walks in and she screams, "Why have you had me waiting for so long?!"  The Grandson, who is obviously used to this behavior from her, and knowing she is deaf, says "It's great to see you too Granny."  She then says "You better not ask how I'm doing!"  They leave, and the soap opera is concluded with her voice fading through the automatic doors, "You're paying for my breakfast now!"

Simple pleasures.